After much thinking and talking with people today, I realized a lot of important things.

For one, I realized more than ever today that I have to stop taking my parents for granted. One thing that I didn’t like was because I’m just a 40 minute drive away from home, and I go home virtually every weekend, I didn’t feel the need during the week to have to talk to them. Sure, I would still call them every day, but I did it more because I felt like I was obligated to, rather than just for the sake of asking them about their day, or telling them about mine. After today, though, I have to remember to stop blaming my parents for everything, and just appreciate everything they do for me, because they do a lot and I know that they genuinely love me. Although they are strict and can be overbearing sometimes, I am lucky to have such dedicated and loving parents that were around to fully support me all the time. Most importantly, I need to let them know that I appreciate them. 

Second, I realized that I need to stop complaining and making excuses. Always complaining and blaming other people for my mistakes does not make me think any more positively, nor does it do any good to the people I am complaining to. Mad props to people like my family and my boyfriend, who put up with me. But I promise that I’ll try to hold myself accountable and stop complaining about the situation I’m in and just work with the positives.

Lastly, after a long talk with my boyfriend about this issue, I realized that I need to hold myself accountable for my own spirituality, and not the church, or my parents, or anybody: just myself. Lately I’ve been feeling a bit distant from God, and I realized that the reason why is because even if I try to convince myself that I’m making the effort to try and connect with Him, I’m really not. Because I’m not trying, I found that it was easier to just blame the church because I wasn’t feeling any spiritual growth, or to just give up. However, I feel that if I make the effort, God will bless me and not make me regret my decision.